Discussing Divorce with Your Children


Divorce is difficult for everyone in a family to cope with, especially young children. How you break the news to them will make a big difference in how well they process the coming changes, so it is essential for you and your spouse to work together and plan what you will say. Moreover, you should be prepared to answer any questions they may have after you inform them of your impending divorce. Continue reading to learn some helpful tips for this sensitive discussion.

Creating a Plan to Tell Your Children About Your Divorce

Given the weight of the circumstances, you can assume your children may never forget the day you tell them about your divorce. As such, you and your spouse should devote a lot of careful planning to this moment. Although you may not be getting along, presenting this life-altering information to your children as a team is a critical element in how they will cope with the situation.

Keep in mind that this conversation is not about you or your spouse. Instead, the purpose is to ease your children’s anxieties about the future and ensure they understand that your love for them will remain the same, regardless of the state of your marriage.

Here are some tips you should consider before having this discussion:

  • Tell them on a day when they will have plenty of time to process everything. For example, a Friday would be ideal since they will have an entire weekend to think about what was said.
  • Do not blame your spouse for the divorce. No matter what you may think about who was at fault for this, pointing fingers at your spouse will not be helpful for your children. Avoid playing the blame game altogether by simply stating that the marriage was not working, and you were both unhappy.
  • Assure them that you both still love them. It may seem obvious to you, but this is an uncertain time for them, and they may need some reassurance.
  • If you have any information that may soothe your children’s worries about the future, provide it. For example, if you or your spouse is moving out of the marital home, let them know when and where. It is unlikely you will have all the answers now, so try to provide them when you can.

Your children may continue to have questions as the process goes on, so be as available as possible to them and always be ready to talk more about it.

Reach Out to Our Family Law Team for the Guidance You Need

If you are getting a divorce, the family law team at The Neshanian Law Firm, Inc has the knowledge and skill necessary to represent you. Since 2005, our team has assisted countless clients, securing successful results on their behalf.

Call us today at (949) 577-7935 to set up a consultation.