Announcing Your Divorce
If you have filed for divorce or been served with papers, you may be wondering when the best time to tell others is and how you make the announcement. There’s no exact right time or way to share the news of your divorce, and there aren’t any official rules or guidelines governing with whom you share this news. Here are some tips that can help you make an informed decision on announcing your divorce.
- Make a private announcement to children and family members. Before you make any public announcements, you should tell your immediate family and those closest to you. Making sure they hear this news from you directly is important, because you will need their support throughout the process.
- Consult with your soon-to-be-ex. You should talk with your soon-to-be-ex about making the announcement together. While it may be hard to collaborate on a statement, some people like family or children can benefit from hearing from you both. If you decide to make the announcement separately, you should still be mindful of the wording, and discussing what you wish to share versus keep private can be beneficial as well.
- Try to agree on the timing. If possible, you should consult with your soon-to-be-ex on when and/or where you plan to share your announcement.
- Be mindful of your wording. If you make an announcement in person or online, you should keep your announcement brief and civil. Regardless of whether the divorce is amicable or not, what you say and how you say can be used against you later on. By keeping things simple, you can avoid saying or publishing anything you will later regret.
- Turn off the comments. If you make the announcement online, you should consider cutting off or requesting no comments.
Should I Mention My Divorce on Social Media?
Whether you make the announcement online is entirely your choice. Many social media platforms allow you to change your relationship status to single and/or account biography to remove your spouse from the account. However, it is important to note that you should be mindful and cautious if you do post on social media because what you post can impact your case.
While making a status change or short announcement shouldn’t have too much of an impact, sharing more details or posting throughout your divorce can lead to case complications. If you post about the proceedings or your soon-to-be-ex, the other party may use those against you. For instance, if you have children, posts disparaging the other party may be used to prove that you are not willing to foster a healthy relationship between them and your child, which is a factor used to determine the best interest of the child.
Tips for Telling People You Are Getting Divorced
Letting your family, friends, and others know can be daunting. Again, there is no perfect wording or time to make the announcement. When you tell your family and friends, you should be prepared for questions and/or a potentially emotional response. Before you tell anyone, you should also consider what type of support you will need from each party. For instance, you may need emotional support or help with babysitting or other tasks from family; with your boss, you may need them to understand if you need time off or flexible scheduling because of litigation or mediation sessions.
Here are a few specific tips concerning how to tell specific groups of people.
- Telling your parents. If possible, you should tell them this news face-to-face, and you may consider telling both sets of parents together. This conversation will likely be very emotional (for various reasons). While you may give your parents more details than anyone else, still be mindful of what you share, especially if you plan to co-parent with one another. You should also discuss what changes they should prepare for because of the divorce. For instance, if you are dividing custody, they should know that holidays and birthdays will look different. If either party is moving sometime soon, they should also be aware of that.
- Telling your children. This conversation may be the hardest. If possible, you should both be present when you tell them the news. You should not only prepare for questions and an emotional response; you should also take time to explain what changes they should expect. Remind them that while your love for them remains unchanged, other things will change (i.e. your living situation, daily schedules, etc.).
- Telling other family members. Depending on how close you are to other members of your family, you may also consider telling them your news. Giving them a call or sharing the news in a family chat can help you reduce any awkwardness at family gatherings.
- Telling your friends. Divorce can impact your emotional and mental health, which is why you will need the support of your family and/or friends. However, you may need to consider what friends you may lose because of the divorce. A sad reality with divorce is that some friends feel the need to choose a side and cut off contact with one party. While you may go into more detail with close friends, casual friends may not get an in-person or detailed announcement.
- Telling your boss. Because of mediation sessions, court days, and meetings with your attorney, you may need certain accommodations at work, which is why you should tell your boss about your divorce. You don’t have to share too many details about the divorce itself but should explain what type of accommodations you need. You can read our previous post, “The Impact of Divorce in the Workplace,” for more specific tips on telling your boss about your divorce.
- Telling teachers, doctors, sitters, and counselors. You should plan to tell the people in your child’s life about the divorce because they can help you monitor how your child is responding to the divorce. They also should be aware of changes in contact information, emergency numbers, etc. With this group of people, you can keep the information brief; you can also express that you want their help with your child’s adjustment.
Schedule a Case Consultation Today
At The Neshanian Law Firm, Inc, our attorneys have decades of collective experience, and they are equipped to help you navigate your divorce. Known for our aggressive representation and compassionate counsel, we can help you with a variety of divorce matters including:
- Divorce mediation
- Legal separation
- Child Support
- Property division
To learn more about our services or schedule a consultation, you can give us a call at (949) 577-7935 or complete our online contact form.